May 16

 I have a man

Who loves me like I am

Sleeps too long in the daytime 

Night time he shines like the sun

He gives me love in a simple form

I crave to come back for more

He’s beautiful 

He’s what I’ve waited for…

Touch me

With your beautiful eyes

And your strong hands 

With your arms around me

And your warmth upon me

With the tip of your finger

And your leg next to mine

With the songs you choose

And your beautiful mind

With your paper in my purse

And the smile on your face

With your hand to lift me up

Touch me more and never let me go!

CJ

She passed on 4/12, before lunch hour

Family surrounded her with love

Tall grown man, still a mamas boy

Just three days prior filled with fear

And emotions unable to express

Too many to clarify easily

Make that phone call

Clear the air, and the fear

Words spoken, stories shared

Perception changed

Friends made

And just like that

Recovery took over!

And peace came upon you

💜

 

Kissing you…

Is like ice cream on a hot day

Smooth and cool and refreshing

Like warm blankets in winter

Hot and soft and blood warming

Like soup when I’m sick

It cures what ails me

At first it was strange and new and awkward

Then warm and inviting and exploratory

Now it creates heat and wanting for more

Soft and hard, more and less, and more

I like kissing you and I want to forevermore 

I’ll love you

Til the cows come home

and your toes grow back

Until the sun don’t shine

and the earth is black

I’ll love every wrinkle

And the three hairs on your head

I will always rub your back 

And lay with you in bed

       (With TV…)

The laughter you bring lasts forever

I am yours to eternity and back

I want the feel of your arms around me

Forever and always, I am yours

I’ll love you til the cows come home…

Tiffany

Little girl with big brick walls

standing in the rain, hiding between drops.

Arms crossed to block invasion to the heart;

eventually you let me in, all the way.

Sunday morning coffee to talk about what ails you, or sometimes just to be. 

You brought me flowers on my anniversary, your favorite; I return the favor in kind! 

Life doesn’t seem fair when I hear your diagnosis, you’re still so young walking through this life a day at a time. God seems to take the good ones early. Couldn’t we have you just ten more? Or two?

I hug you like a daughter and you hold on a little longer, my hearts swells. I love you like my own, you are my own. You did that, once I chased you down and didn’t let go. 

You let me in, all the way, to those places you kept hidden for safety reasons. And then the news came and the heartaches began but you pushed forward, you fought and won for a time. 

The world won’t be the same without you in it, you shine like the sun, most definitely in my heart! Heaven will gain another angel and we will see each other again, one day!

I want all of you

I want to walk on trails through the woods,

holding your hand. Feel your strength and what it offers; safety and security, being wanted.

You are fun loving, warm; a gentle heart and a hard body. 

I want to dig for bottles and metal things. 

I want to walk mama (4 20 for those who don’t know her) with you, but not in the rain.

I want to know your hearts’ rhythm when you’re one with me. 

Let’s shop at Walmart and Aldi and Wegmans and Weis forever, because I love the way you look at everything and choose wisely what you want. 

Let’s make a mess laughing and eating and making love all weekend, I’ll clean up on Mondays. Drive me down the crazy river (it’s a song with a great sound). 

I don’t want much, just all of you! 

you…

It doesn’t matter where I touch you, hand or back, fingers electrify my insides and knock on my hearts’ door. 

You speak with your eyes and knock on my hearts’ door. Your arms around me knock on my hearts’ door. 

Momma’s in the bed with you and the sight knocks on my hearts’ door. Your gentle touch and words to her knock on my hearts’ door. 

My hearts’ door is open and I see you walking in. 

It is you!

I’ve been waiting for you so long,

God said “now”.

My soul knew you, my eyes saw you

…my heart skipped several beats.

When I am with you I want you

near me, wrapped around me in a hug. 

I accept the slowness and the beauty in that,

…the building of friendship. 

Oh I do like you bunches!

You bring laughter and warmth, 

sunshine and thoughts of more. 

More days like this and night dreams of the next time

…I get to see you. 

April 23rd...

This was actually written many, many moons ago! 

If I remembered your birthday would it have made a difference in the scheme of things I only knew your sign was just like mine, a blast from the past you are and so many memories, things to say missing pieces in the story of you and me and who we became after the storm passed and the food began to stay down again and the days didn't seem so cloudy and I could hear the music in my head

Life has a funny way of returning to that which is most important and if you aren't willing to show up for it, chances are it won't present itself but when it does and if you are ready...wow - what a wave of coolness it brings
long ago laughter returns and you feel like 14 again, but you're not and it all feels different somehow than then, but the same in some odd way

I fell in love with a dear friend once, from the past - nothing ever came of it he's taken and that's not all - love is really in the moment what, a connection,
a desire filled, to be seen - really seen - and touched - really touched…the meeting of two hearts on a level that no one but them can understand, yes, life has a funny way of showing up if you're ready for it - and you grow

and I grow, and I have grown, and I thank a few and many deeply.

What happens in April…

April is an amazing month

4/3/66 you were born

4/29/89 I stopped, a day at a time

4/2/90 beautiful Marlena was born

4/15/23 you returned for new life

4/22/24 you celebrate one

4/29/24 I celebrate many

So much is happening quietly and ever so loud, like a perfect storm. Big feelings with no words. And April is still amazing!

I’m into you

It’s hard to define without being silly, or what’s the word? clichéd, what I am feeling about you in any given moment.

My body’s response to thoughts of you is an invasion of anything I ever thought would happen, ever, again. Or for the first time, since trust me this is awesome, amazing, makes me giddy, smile all over on the inside kind of stuff.

Your face…I want to see it, eyes looking at me, sometimes soft and sometimes smiling. I like what that feels like, your eyes looking into mine. Oh these aren’t butterflies, these are belly flops over here, happening without my permission. 

I am completely infatuated. Your mind is smart, full of knowledge and history and things I like to hear about, like what kind of trees are blooming. I like your stories of world wars and politics, though your preference differs from what I’ve known.

I like the way your back looks when I’m sitting behind you, seeming to call my fingers to stroke softly. Your silver hair held by the cap that shades your eyes and the freckles I know are there because I saw them above your shirt one evening! I like the way you take your glasses off and tilt your head down to read things, sometimes.

You tease me and there’s that smile in your eyes. When you hold me in a hug, and you smell so intoxicatingly wonderful, I don’t want to let go; I just want to hold you.

I like this getting to know you.

Can you see it? I’m so into you.

ANS…

I SAW you, that first time

eyes revealed kindness

heart was there, open

I believe you saw me too

and God said “trust this”

And I do.