It is you!

I’ve been waiting for you so long,

God said “now”.

My soul knew you, my eyes saw you

…my heart skipped several beats.

When I am with you I want you

near me, wrapped around me in a hug. 

I accept the slowness and the beauty in that,

…the building of friendship. 

Oh I do like you bunches!

You bring laughter and warmth, 

sunshine and thoughts of more. 

More days like this and night dreams of the next time

…I get to see you. 

April 23rd...

This was actually written many, many moons ago! 

If I remembered your birthday would it have made a difference in the scheme of things I only knew your sign was just like mine, a blast from the past you are and so many memories, things to say missing pieces in the story of you and me and who we became after the storm passed and the food began to stay down again and the days didn't seem so cloudy and I could hear the music in my head

Life has a funny way of returning to that which is most important and if you aren't willing to show up for it, chances are it won't present itself but when it does and if you are ready...wow - what a wave of coolness it brings
long ago laughter returns and you feel like 14 again, but you're not and it all feels different somehow than then, but the same in some odd way

I fell in love with a dear friend once, from the past - nothing ever came of it he's taken and that's not all - love is really in the moment what, a connection,
a desire filled, to be seen - really seen - and touched - really touched…the meeting of two hearts on a level that no one but them can understand, yes, life has a funny way of showing up if you're ready for it - and you grow

and I grow, and I have grown, and I thank a few and many deeply.

What happens in April…

April is an amazing month

4/3/66 you were born

4/29/89 I stopped, a day at a time

4/2/90 beautiful Marlena was born

4/15/23 you returned for new life

4/22/24 you celebrate one

4/29/24 I celebrate many

So much is happening quietly and ever so loud, like a perfect storm. Big feelings with no words. And April is still amazing!

I’m into you

It’s hard to define without being silly, or what’s the word? clichéd, what I am feeling about you in any given moment.

My body’s response to thoughts of you is an invasion of anything I ever thought would happen, ever, again. Or for the first time, since trust me this is awesome, amazing, makes me giddy, smile all over on the inside kind of stuff.

Your face…I want to see it, eyes looking at me, sometimes soft and sometimes smiling. I like what that feels like, your eyes looking into mine. Oh these aren’t butterflies, these are belly flops over here, happening without my permission. 

I am completely infatuated. Your mind is smart, full of knowledge and history and things I like to hear about, like what kind of trees are blooming. I like your stories of world wars and politics, though your preference differs from what I’ve known.

I like the way your back looks when I’m sitting behind you, seeming to call my fingers to stroke softly. Your silver hair held by the cap that shades your eyes and the freckles I know are there because I saw them above your shirt one evening! I like the way you take your glasses off and tilt your head down to read things, sometimes.

You tease me and there’s that smile in your eyes. When you hold me in a hug, and you smell so intoxicatingly wonderful, I don’t want to let go; I just want to hold you.

I like this getting to know you.

Can you see it? I’m so into you.

ANS…

I SAW you, that first time

eyes revealed kindness

heart was there, open

I believe you saw me too

and God said “trust this”

And I do.