Another Lover

As I grieve yet another lover
I have come to realize I must change NOW.
The depth of which I am capable of loving
is far less than I have told myself for years.

I love deep, I love hard and I love passionately
but only to a point - beyond that you suffer.

I wish not to damage myself or another
in my quest to fill a void from which can only be within.
No outside choice will make this darkness fill with light,
a journey to my own heart is where the healing lies,

AND the joy.

So here I sit with direction, vision and hope,
for wholeness and truth and enlightenment.
That which I was ignorant enough to believe had
years ago and many heartaches prior.

My process is unlike any other - this day.
It comes with the experience and the memory
of mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual sadness,
and a gentle realization that I have come to this place

by divine love.


February 16, 2004