does the world seem a dark place for those in mourning
or is it just inside ourselves we do not see the light
is it the missing of one loved that shuts out sun
and smiles and hugs on warm days and soft evenings
I'll pretend I know how to grieve for just a moment and say
tears flow like rivers when you experience the loss
hearts clam up like a steel safe locked to keep out the unwanted
if you avoid the situation and bypass the opportunity
my daughter turned 18 on the 2nd of April
her sperm donor dad stopped the checks
I'll move from provider and caregiver to bossy and meddling
if I'm not aware as my child becomes an adult in the world's eyes
I was 31 before I began the difficult process of growing up and
taking responsibility for myself emotionally - oh I paid the bills
I paid the dues too, hard earned addiction to anything that would
kill the pain and make it wait for even an hour before hurting, again
life isn't easy when you are present and showing up for every detail
but it's worth the effort; grow in reality or stay stifled in a dream
I hold each moment precious in my heart and pray that I can always get quiet
and turn to spirit for guidance through the difficult and joyful blessings
I know my life is moving forward to unforbidden pleasures and abundance,
silly little 50 yr old all covered with laughter and blue eyed wonder!!
15april08
2 comments:
A blue eyed wonder...yes you are!
I love you. I'm in Memphis at a work conference. You would like it here, it's fun. I'll call you later.
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