April 23rd...

If I remembered your birthday
would it have made a difference
in the scheme of things I only knew
your sign was just like mine
a blast from the past you are
and so many memories, things to say
missing pieces in the story of you and me
and who we became ...
after the storm passed
and the food began to stay down again
and the days didn't seem so cloudy
and I could hear the music in my head

Life has a funny way of returning
to that which is most important
and if you aren't willing to show up for it,
chances are it won't present itself
but when it does and if you are ready
wow
what a wave of coolness it brings
long ago laughter returns and you feel like 14 again,
but you're not and it all
feels different somehow than then,
but the same in some odd way

I fell in love with a dear friend once,
from the past - nothing ever said of it
he's taken and that's not all
love is really in the moment what?
a connection, a desire filled,
to be seen - really seen - and touched - really touched
the meeting of two hearts
on a level that no one but them can understand
yes, life has a funny way of showing up
if you're ready for it - and you grow

and I grow, and I have grown,
and I thank a few
and many
deeply



ironic - feelings and thoughts

i always seem to get on here when i feel sad or down, lonely or heartbroken, confused or angry
occasionally i suppose i write when i am happy actually mostly i write when i have extreme emotions

today i feel sad, tears flow easily over what i'm not quite sure, but they're falling silent down my cheeks

last night i saw a movie of a boy who's dad died on 9/11 in the burning building and i was moved to tears, more for the depth of character the movie depicted, which i have utmost respect for, and feel I often lack, but that's not true either, which is cause for sadness, the being one who doesn't see worth but knows it's there, intellectually

it's a dilemma, this human existance (i am having trouble spelling that) funny...
i wish that i could just type it all in a few words, but that would be too easy wouldn't it

random, or not so much, thoughts

Why is it that some days move like snails in sand and other days fly by?
Is it the attitude with which I face the day that determines the speed I move through it?

How many do I have left? Or those I love?
Does it matter so long as I tell them of my love for them, through eternity?

My dad said after 30 time goes quickly. I say after 50 it zooms past.

All eyes upon the hourglass make for gloom.
With no regard to the time of day I can enjoy the moments - each one.

I must express my love for all humanity in some other way today. For this moment I'll speak it here, and see what it brings to my heart.

...and all is well.